Monday, October 3, 2011

The Hypnosis Behind.... Toxic Family Environments

The Hypnosis Behind.... Toxic Family Environments


I believe there is powerful hypnosis at play in this culture, one whose interpretation has harmed many people. It is only a  few words taken out of context from the bible- Honor thy mother and father.

This has been coming to my attention more and more through the clients I have been helping lately. Although the intention is an honorable one and I agree with honoring our parents, I dare to challenge why doesn't it say honor your children as well! Who says honor your children and their dreams. Who sticks up for the children who are not honored by their parents. I cannot even put a number on the clients who come to me because of the shattered dreams and lives they experience because of non supportive or damaging parents.

However, with that said, one form of healing is to understand that parents do the best they can with who they are at any specific time. We must realize most parents are hurting too and haven't learned empowering skills either. If they choose to stay in a place of destruction though it becomes the responsibility of the child(as an adult) to remove themselves from the toxic environment. Once you are 18 or in some cases younger I believe the best way to honor family is to go out and live the life you were meant to. You can heal when you release your parents from blame and send them love and use that energy then to propel you forward! Go forward in the direction of your dreams and gift yourself  the ability to take responsibility for your self preservation.

Let me give you a few examples, if you know you are an recovering alcoholic the bar is probably not the best place for you not to hang out until you get healthy enough. The same is true of a physical injury, if you broke your knee until it is strong and healthy enough you would not be rollerblading! If your parents don't honor you this will not support your dreams, if they can't see or hear who you really are then stop wasting your energy and go where you can be supported. Until you get healthy change your environment one that will grow and nurture you.

It takes time and constant consistency to purpose to break the unhealthy bonds of families and set up boundaries that are healthy. Once you get yourself on track then it is OK to attempt to test the relationship. If you find you feel better when parents are not around and actually thrive then speak your truth to them.  If you really matter to them,  if they really love you,  then they will do the work to get to know and understand the real you. Actually, anyone you choose to be in relationship with parents, siblings, friends, coworkers any relationship must really invest the energy into knowing you or it is best to get into an environment where you can thrive. Big clue if you grew up in an unhealthy environment your mind first believes this is normal!!!! Your work comes in by unhypnotizing yourself from the unhealthy and learning what healthy is. If this is not done you will attract people who repeat the same destructive patterns as your parents.

You can learn how to loving communicate your truth and the greatest gift you can give you is to put yourself in healthy environments - find your truth, then find your voice, and combine the two in love and look out at what you will accomplish and how great you will feel. At first if this is new to you it may be difficult and not feel great because you are growing and using new tools.  Remember, with practice you can master anything! I believe in you and am here if you need any help. Just leave me a comment or call!
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